Guilt feelings

I feel I have to justify myself for not keeping up the food diary idea…I told you it might not last long! The thing is that up till Sunday I was devouring everything in sight so it was impossible to keep it up (ok ok, I was embarrassed to admit how much I was eating). I blame it on the hormones. My plan was to start eating more healthy, which is another of my new year’s resolutions so what I am going to try and do is to eat low GI as far as I can and avoid refined carbohydrates and sugars (with the exception of Godwin’s hot chocolate, which I am committing myself to have only every other day).

Food apart, yesterday was my day off (I get a day off a week, on average) and the afternoon was spent with Munchkin. We had some girly time, discussing rings and bracelets (she lent me one of her rings…a yellow cat…and I lent some of my bracelets), window shopping and visiting the newly-refurbished McDonalds (she kept calling the new decor “terrific”). I feel terribly guilty every time we go to McDonalds. I am very aware of the unhealthy nature of their food (in my university days I developed an intolerance to some of their ingredients and suffered from IBS for years thanks to my weekly visits to dear old McD) and yet every now and then I succumb to the lure of an easy way out of dinner cooking. I am not proud of myself and although most of the time Munchkin only has a fruit bag or a yogurt, there are times like yesterday when she has a Happy Meal. And the occasional visit to the fast food restaurant isn’t the only thing I feel guilty about. Since becoming a parent, I’ve had my conscience riddled with guilt feelings for things I had never given a second thought to. Am I working too many hours? Am I using too many chemical-laden products around the house? Are her clothes harming her health because they’re not organic? Am I doing too little to protect the environment? The list goes on and on and every day there seems to be a new reason to feel inadequate as a mother.

Come bedtime, though, I realise that maybe I’m not doing everything wrong when she whispers in the darkness at the end of her prayers, “Jesus, thank you for my lovely mama and papa”.

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3 Comments

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  1. Your daughter does not seem to show signs of obesity and also indulging in fast food once in a while is nothing to feel guilty about. You hear and see parents who take their children to Mc Donalds several times a week, who stuff their children with pastizzi and oily pizza just to shut them up or because they have no time to cook.

    I am not a mother so I don’t know what the guilty feelings of a mother are but from an outsides point of view I don’t think you should feel like that about a once in a while fast-food indulgence 🙂

    XXXX

  2. True… research proves that mcd meals once a week are not that harmful. They become so when they are in consumed in large quantity..

    with regards to the diary… yeah its difficult and you may be ashamed of yourself, but you have to be strong. And it does not if the list is endless. Trust me it is much more healthy then having a three/four line list like I had last july-august..

    Every time i read your blog i grow more aware of the special bond you have with your daughter. I must say that you are doing already enough. Sometimes you parents feel that you are not fulfilling our expectations, you are not buying us enough things, you are failing to spend a lot of time with us but sometimes we only want a warm hug and telling us the old-lie ‘that everything will be fine’ and that life is a fairy tale’. At that age we do not want to be aware of the harsh reality. We just want to be Cinderella or prince charming.

    PS it is not the quantity of time you spend with your daughter that matters most, but how you spend it

    xx

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