Today must be National Dumb Day and all the dumbest people stumbled upon our shop. First customer I get asks me for sandpaper. I managed not to snort and patiently directed her to two hardware stores on our same street. But the customer insisted. She was sure we’d have sandpaper. I told her she wouldn’t find that kind of paper in our shop but she still didn’t seem convinced. Then she told me she needed the paper to wrap up some clothes. I was perplexed at the idea of clothes being wrapped in sandpaper. The penny dropped when she said that it’s brown in colour. What she really wanted was brown paper! Less than an hour later, another customer noticed that we sell Betty Boop lip glosses and exclaimed, “Oh, Betty Boobs lip gloss!”. Yes, really. An hour later yet another customer asks me for postcards to send back home to the UK. I was about to show him some when he stopped me in my tracks with “I want them with envelopes!”. The ones we carry come without envelopes and all other tourist postcards I ever saw were without envelopes. Do they exist at all? I wasn’t sure so I just told him that unfortunately ours didn’t have envelopes. He’s probably still looking for them all over the island. Another customer who fits in this category called at the shop a couple of days ago and asked me for baking paper. I mean, really, would you buy your baking goods at a gift shop?
Got to go back to ironing the mountain of shirts I’ve let accumulate these past few days and then off to another three hours of selling to the dumb. Oh the joy!