Nostalgia

Following last Saturday’s dance show where the little star of our family showed off her moves, I’ve been feeling more than a little nostalgic. It is a well-known fact that parents tend to project their (mostly unfulfilled) dreams onto their children and try to live the childhood they would have liked through their offspring. I used to swear I would never be that mother. Then again, I swore I would never smoke but I do. I also swore I would never fall pregnant unless I was married and also that I would remain single for the rest of my life. Enough said.

Munchkin has (so far) two dance lessons a week – jazz and ballet. One of my childhood dreams was to be a ballerina. While most little girls will dream of wearing a tutu to work at some point or other, I was totally obsessed with dance up to the age of 15. So obsessed that the first music tape I bought was Stravinsky’s Firebird, the first card I bought with my own pocket money was for myself and not for a friend and it had a girl doing an arabesque on the front (I still have it actually) and the first book I borrowed from the library was a book about ballet. I lived to dance and went to lessons up to four times a week when I was in my teens. My late teacher would be horrified to know the trouble I’m having with my neck because of my poor posture. All that work for nothing!

Eventually I had to stop dancing because of problems with my lower back and mostly my hip, which I had injured during a rehearsal and still hurts to this day. It was one of the most painful (both physically and emotionally) decisions I had to take in my teens…probably the only decision I took at that age come to think of it! For many years I was unable to watch a performance or even pictures of dancers. They would invariably reduce me to tears. I was never so talented that I could make a living out of dancing but at least I could dance.

So now I find myself looking at my daughter in her leotard and tutu and hoping she will love ballet at least half as much as I used to. I will surely do my part to fan the fire!

Advertisements

6 Comments

Add yours →

  1. When at the dance show on Friday i was all the time thinking how my life would have been different if I were thin at a young age, and if my mum had allowed me to start dancing and go for piano lessons… *sigh

    so many things went through my mind during that eve, and so many dreams will remain unfulfilled..

    • I understand you perfectly. i started ballet lessons when i was around 12 (very late but i worked through all the grades within 2 years i was so dedicated) and piano at 11 (which i dropped out of after a year). then i started cello at 18 and choir at 17…all dreams i had had from childhood but never gave up on until i had at least tried them. it’s never too late mark!

  2. i ve opened closed opened closed too many chapters in the last couple of months/years.. Sometimes its better to settle for what you have got!…

    I know am speaking like someone embarking on his 30s… that friendship gone wrong has afffected me way too much :S

  3. and i just received the perfect cd for the mood-period – Tebaldi’s Butterfly *sigh

  4. Reblogged this on Island Fairy and commented:

    While we’re in the City of Light, I thought I’d share with you some of the most popular posts on Island Fairy. They’re not necessarily my favourites, but you guys loved them, so enjoy!

What are your thoughts? Share them here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: