Following last Saturday’s dance show where the little star of our family showed off her moves, I’ve been feeling more than a little nostalgic. It is a well-known fact that parents tend to project their (mostly unfulfilled) dreams onto their children and try to live the childhood they would have liked through their offspring. I used to swear I would never be that mother. Then again, I swore I would never smoke but I do. I also swore I would never fall pregnant unless I was married and also that I would remain single for the rest of my life. Enough said.

Munchkin has (so far) two dance lessons a week – jazz and ballet. One of my childhood dreams was to be a ballerina. While most little girls will dream of wearing a tutu to work at some point or other, I was totally obsessed with dance up to the age of 15. So obsessed that the first music tape I bought was Stravinsky’s Firebird, the first card I bought with my own pocket money was for myself and not for a friend and it had a girl doing an arabesque on the front (I still have it actually) and the first book I borrowed from the library was a book about ballet. I lived to dance and went to lessons up to four times a week when I was in my teens. My late teacher would be horrified to know the trouble I’m having with my neck because of my poor posture. All that work for nothing!

Eventually I had to stop dancing because of problems with my lower back and mostly my hip, which I had injured during a rehearsal and still hurts to this day. It was one of the most painful (both physically and emotionally) decisions I had to take in my teens…probably the only decision I took at that age come to think of it! For many years I was unable to watch a performance or even pictures of dancers. They would invariably reduce me to tears. I was never so talented that I could make a living out of dancing but at least I could dance.

So now I find myself looking at my daughter in her leotard and tutu and hoping she will love ballet at least half as much as I used to. I will surely do my part to fan the fire!



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  1. When at the dance show on Friday i was all the time thinking how my life would have been different if I were thin at a young age, and if my mum had allowed me to start dancing and go for piano lessons… *sigh

    so many things went through my mind during that eve, and so many dreams will remain unfulfilled..

    • I understand you perfectly. i started ballet lessons when i was around 12 (very late but i worked through all the grades within 2 years i was so dedicated) and piano at 11 (which i dropped out of after a year). then i started cello at 18 and choir at 17…all dreams i had had from childhood but never gave up on until i had at least tried them. it’s never too late mark!

  2. i ve opened closed opened closed too many chapters in the last couple of months/years.. Sometimes its better to settle for what you have got!…

    I know am speaking like someone embarking on his 30s… that friendship gone wrong has afffected me way too much :S

  3. and i just received the perfect cd for the mood-period – Tebaldi’s Butterfly *sigh

  4. Reblogged this on Island Fairy and commented:

    While we’re in the City of Light, I thought I’d share with you some of the most popular posts on Island Fairy. They’re not necessarily my favourites, but you guys loved them, so enjoy!

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