As some of you know, I work in a shop selling cards, gifts, candles and all that jazz. With the shop being in the middle of the main town on the island, we get all sorts of people…and I mean ALL sorts. I usually write one-liners on my facebook page when I get particularly peculiar requests, both for the entertainment of my facebook friends (and these updates have got quite a following!) and also to let off steam.
For the benefit of those of you who are not on my facebook list, here are some of the most recent requests I got:
- I get asked for all sort of things which have nothing to do with our shop. Some recent examples are talcum powder, sanitary towels (yes, indeed), radios, medicines, underwear, bubble wrap…the list goes on;
- I recently discovered that a pencil case is called a ‘pocket’ these days, at least on this island. The first time I was asked for a pocket, my reaction was to ask what sort of pocket they were after, only to be met with raised eyebrows. Apparently it’s old fashioned to call it pencil case. I still can’t bring myself to call it pocket;
- The other day a customer asked me to get his wallet out of the back pocket of his trousers. I was a little scared…he didn’t seem all there. He struggled with the said wallet while I stared at the opposite direction, pondering my options. Should I run out of the shop screaming? Should I help him? Should I ask someone to come and help him? Thankfully he managed to get the wallet out without me having to touch his behind;
- Today I was asked for a credit card. When I asked the customer to repeat (I thought I hadn’t heard right) she asked again, very seriously, for a credit card. It took me a few seconds to realise what she wanted. A top-up card (prepaid) for her mobile (or cell phone as they call it elsewhere). For a second there I thought they were selling credit cards over the counter. Then again, if they did I’d be the first person to know about it…or rather, my sister would.
As you can see, there’s rarely a dull moment in this place and that’s not mentioning the multitude of names I have the pleasure to hear, especially when people from the larger island are over for their holidays. The two that stood out this summer were Shanesia and Redeemer and, sadly, they belonged to small children.