Six years ago I was nursing a newborn baby. I was learning what colic was all about, was in awe of the amount of milk my modest mammaries could produce and couldn’t sit or walk without grimacing, thanks to the amount of stitches I was left with after giving birth to a baby who wasn’t exactly small.
Six years on I’m preparing myself psychologically for a repeat performance. I am hoping against hope that this baby won’t be colicky like Maia was and that I’ll get the hang of breastfeeding sooner than I did last time. This time, I know what to expect…or do I? When I discovered I was expecting again, I thought I knew what was coming. Boy was I mistaken! They say that each pregnancy is different and it really is true. I feel as if this is my first. Not much feels familiar this time round. Apart from the less than ideal health I’ve been enjoying for the past six months, everything else seems to be accelerated with this one. I feel (and look, I can assure you) as if I’ll go into labour any day. I don’t have any Braxton Hicks and I had never experienced them with Maia, either. The bump is still quite high up and there are another twelve weeks to go before I’m full term. It’s all the rest that reminds me of the last couple of weeks of my first pregnancy. The aches and pains, the sheer size of my belly, the feeling that my body can’t take another ounce of weight, the fact that the baby’s movements have been very noticeable from the outside for the past month…you get the idea.
I also feel like it’s the first time because I’m freaking out about everything having to be ready. Now. I know that I’m nesting and that it’s a normal feeling, but surely, I should feel a little more relaxed the second time round. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. I am currently looking up checklists for basic items one needs with a newborn and I’m realising that a lot of the things will have to be bought again. You see, I never thought I’d have another child. I wanted to, but there’s very little you can do when you’re single (short of convincing a stranger to knock you up…not exactly my style). So I had given away almost everything baby-related. I am left with an out of fashion (not that I care about how fashionable it is, but it wasn’t the height of comfort either) pram/pushchair, my beloved breast pump and the nappy backpack (the best buy of all). So I’m off to write yet another shopping list which my darling husband will have to finance (another thing I’m having to get used to).
And for your eyes only, a snapshot of what Ze Bump looks like right now: