The end of an era

Yesterday marked the end of an era, the beginning of the end. Wondering what I’m on about? Robin had her first bottle of formula.

might have decided it’s time to start weaning her off the breast, but I’ve done so with a heavy heart. There are two reasons I decided now might be the right time to move on.

The first is that my body needs to look a little less lopsided within the next month or so. Let me explain. As many of you already know, because you’ve been there, not all boobs are created equal. There’s always one that’s a little more happy to oblige than the other. One of them will always be favoured by your baby and it’s usually the one that produces more milk and is therefore easier to feed from. In my case, the more productive boob is still producing enough milk for Robin to feed at least four times a day. The other one? It stopped producing milk about two months ago. So what happened, in case you are still wondering, is that I’ve got one very sad-looking, deflated booby and one very full one. Not a good look, I’m telling you.

For now, I can still disguise my ridiculous bosom with scarves and cardigans but it’s already getting too hot for more than one layer of clothing, so I’m freaking out a little. There’s no way I could step out of the house in our summer’s heat wearing a t-shirt, let alone go to the beach. I (seriously) look like I had a mastectomy. With all due respect to those who actually have had one, I would rather be deflated on both sides while I still have both breasts.

The other reason I decided that now would be a good time (for Robin, not for me) is that there’s the possibility I might be going away for a weekend next month. I need to do this for myself, both professionally and personally. Now, if I decide to go for it, Robin will need to be formula-fed, even though she’ll be just two weeks shy of her first birthday by then. I still haven’t booked my tickets or made any arrangements because the thought of leaving without my kids is too much to handle right now, but I’m seriously considering it. You’ll surely know what I’ll decide when the time comes.

So back to the first bottle. It took me three days to bring myself to open the tin, half an hour to read the instructions and prepare the bottle and another twenty minutes to let it cool down and prepare myself psychologically for Robin’s reaction. And it only took Robin a few minutes to guzzle the whole bottle and cry for more, sucking on the teat even after the last drop had be vapourised and there was only air left inside the bottle! I sobbed while I watched her, half relieved and half offended that she liked it.

An hour later, she had another feed from my breasts breast and everything felt normal again.

And the tin is open...

She couldn't wait to taste what was inside.
I couldn't believe she was drinking it and looking me straight in the eye. The cheek!
To add insult to injury, she wouldn't let go of the bottle, carrying it around with her, flapping her arms and legs excitedly.



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  1. Oh, Maureen! It’s so hard to think that they aren’t completely dependant on us, isn’t it? I was sent home from the hospital with formula and it broke my heart. She breast fed primarily but I had to suppliment right away – she was huge and it took a little while for my milk supply to come in. But looking back, I suppose it gavve me a little bit of freedom. But if you might be going away for a few days, it is for the best. One of mu friends had a similar situation. She was away for 4 days and had to wean cold turky (her sone was 20 months and was eating solids and milk). But it was pretty traumatic for him. A year later he saw me nursing Abby and got this sad look on his face and started repeating “I want mama milk. I want mama milk.” poor little guy. 🙂

  2. I am so glad she did so well for you! Sorry for your mommy heart a bit.

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