After a four day weekend, today feels like Monday and I like it. I like going back to our usual routine, knowing when to expect what. I’m like a child in this respect. I find comfort in the predictable.
Lately, however, I’ve been feeling increasingly restless. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am. I have a healthy family who loves me and whom I love. I have friends. I have a home, food to eat and clothes to wear. But I’m afraid gratitude lists are not cutting it anymore. Not right now. I can feel I’m at a crossroads again. Some things need to change. I’ve become afraid of change, but as the Dowager Countess would say, a change is as good as a rest. And God knows I need some rest right now.
I don’t have the time or the words to go into detail right now, but if I’m a little quiet it’s because I need some quiet right now. I need to get back in touch with myself, to create a little space around me and be alone with my thoughts. I seriously doubt I’ll be left alone for longer than three seconds, but trying won’t harm.