Paranoia

I was waiting for autumn to kick in before returning to regular posting, but we’re still ‘enjoying’ summer on the islands.

Okay, fine, the higher temperatures haven’t been the only thing keeping me away from here.

The truth is that I’ve been going through a sort of writer’s block. I haven’t been lacking inspiration or the actual need to write, but something has been blocking me. At first, I couldn’t put my finger on it. I thought that the lack of structure that comes with summer had made  me lazier (and I’m sure it had). Then I blamed it on the lack of free time. That excuse didn’t hold water either because if you want to do something, you make time for it. I finally realised what was holding me back after a long conversation with a friend who also blogs. I think I might have become a little self-conscious when people I know in real life found out about Island Fairy and started reading it.

There was a time when I was becoming a little paranoid. I’d be out in the main town and see someone whom I knew followed my blog and I’d feel the urge to hide. I know it doesn’t make any logical sense, and I’ve said this before but I was fine with strangers in other countries reading my posts. The problem arose when fellow islanders started reading here and proceeded to let me know. I haven’t yet met anyone who was unkind or passed any negative remarks (not to my face, anyway), but I realised that knowing that the supermarket cashier knows my thoughts was making me very uncomfortable. So I didn’t write.

Now I feel like I’m about to explode. I’m a jar full to the brim with words and I feel like I’ll overflow any moment. So don’t be surprised if I spill them all here in the coming days and don’t be surprised if I go back into hiding, either. Meanwhile, I’ve moved around this blog’s ‘furniture’ a little. I hope the new layout gives me the kick in the behind I need to get back to my favourite place on the internet and I hope you’ll visit it sometimes too.

late summer oct13

 

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5 Comments

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  1. I know what you mean 🙂 I’m stuck in a rut as well at the moment :/

  2. I get that feeling as well and since the blog is public I sometimes cannot write publicly about certain topics. So I end up not writing for weeks on end.

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