This summer

This summer has zoomed by and I only wrote once on this blog. In my defence, I have been too busy to even look at this space, let alone find the time and energy to unload my thoughts here. My days have been taken up by a lot of writing, driving children all over the island, planning some work we need to get done at home before the baby arrives and, of course, growing a baby.

I am now in my 24th week (I had to check an app on my phone before I wrote that…I just can’t keep track) and starting to feel the pressure, in more ways than one. This baby is a very active one but I am so grateful for that. It took me much longer to start feeling it than its sisters and for a few weeks I was worried something was not right. The downside is that there are nights when I am kept awake by a bouncing belly, but that’s a small price to pay. The other kind of pressure I am feeling is the reality that is heading our way. It is no secret that we have been dreaming about having a third child for the past two years, but reality can still be daunting. While I cannot wait to hold our last baby in my arms, I am also so unprepared for all that entails. No matter how many times I go through pregnancy, the feelings are always the same. In many respects, I feel like this is my first.

Then there is the fact that Maia and Robin will be starting school in a few weeks’ time. I never thought I would say this, but I am not looking forward to it at all. I like having them at home (except for days like yesterday, when their constant bickering¬†stressed me out so much that I got cramps in my stomach). Even though there have been rough days, I am really enjoying this summer with them. Staying away from the internet (within reason, as I have to be online for certain jobs) has definitely given me more mental space to be present when I would otherwise have been preoccupied with documenting that same moment. I have very few photos of these past five months, but I hope that the memories we made together will remain with me.

I don’t know when I will write here next. I don’t even know how I starting writing this post in the first place. I had only switched on the computer to do some work but felt like I had to check in and remind my future self of this moment in time. There are big changes heading our way and, althoughI wish I could press pause for a few weeks, I am very excited for the future.

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